Difficult Losses

All loss is hard - but some are worse than others

Certain losses are by nature more difficult to understand and to recover from. Losses such as an unexpected or sudden death are problematic. Mysterious losses are hard because they cannot be answered logically. Why, is the question that often leaves survivors heartbroken and unable to move forward. Therapy can help survivors to find meaning and help them to find new purpose to help others. Losses due to age related changes carry special concerns to both the person suffering and those who care for them. Isolation is often experienced when caregiving demands increase thus causing the caregivers to spend less and less time in their previous routines. Feelings of anger, resentment, guilt and dread are often emotions common to caregivers. Counseling can help to alleviate some of the pressure to be silent. Therapy can be a place to begin to care for you while caring for another.

Many losses are misunderstood and undervalued by our society. The loss of a beloved companion animal, for example is easily dismissed by well-meaning others when they suggest getting a “replacement”. For some people, the lost companion served to help find a purpose in life, to provide needed social occasions such as walks outside, and for comfort when the companion outlived a significant person in their life. Therapy can provide a place to remember and convey the importance of a loss that is difficult for others to validate. Another misunderstood loss is that of a miscarriage. Whether the couple comes to therapy together or alone, the loss is often different for each person in the relationship and partners sometimes have difficulty in understanding one another’s point of view. Counseling is especially valuable in helping partners explore and express their perspectives both to each other and to others outside the couple. Physicians may often under value the loss especially if the couple is able to conceive again.